Reality

How thankful I am for the sharpness of reality--yummy meals and dirty dishes, parks and scraped knees, learning and struggling. Our joys are so coupled with hardship. Sometimes when I tightly grasp my reality, my spirit cringes from the sharpness. Tonight Joe and I were going to bed and I was feeling so drained and soon he was sleeping and then...Lizzie woke up. I think she has been getting tummy aches at night because she doesn't settle down unless I walk her.

I am sitting, snuggling Elizabeth, while enjoying the beauty and peacefulness of the evening. These are moments that I don't enjoy during the day. Elizabeth's features are so precious. Her gentle breathing and twinkle eyes are so enchanting. I am thankful that God has given me this time of nurturing my baby.

I went to a funeral today with all four children, by myself. They did amazingly well. I was tense the whole time because there was only one open pew that I could sit in and an old man, whom I didn't know, was sitting on the outside. He graciously let us sit next to him and I found myself trapped in a church pew. Elizabeth didn't shriek and the other children sat around me and listened very well. I ended up leaving before the reception because Thomas started crying (and crying).

Thomas gets more delightful everyday to talk with. I never know what he will say next. When I was pushing him on the swing he said "Push me high, Mommy, I want to touch the roof of the clouds." Yesterday I went to the orthodontist for a quick visit and all the children were lined up watching me in the chair. When the Dr. came in Thomas told him that he got a "Dragon for his birthday, what were the teeth clips that they put around mommy, we were going to the zoo when we were finished and why does the dentist chair move?" He is REALLY into telling jokes right now (Why did the crocodile cross the road? To eat a marshmallow!??) So, he doesn't quite understand what makes a joke funny, but we always laugh so he loves to tell them.

Abigial has been going to her speech therapy sessions. At first there was resistance (I think Grammie's puppies sounded funner than "going to class"). But now she is enjoying her teacher and is really blossoming. I have found that I like to "do" things a lot with Abigail, pick flowers, clean, cook, have tea parties. Lately she has been wanting to just chat with me, which has been so sweet. Abbie is very focused, detailed and deliberate. She is the best sister, always aware of the others and (usually!) considerate of their needs.

Jonathan often makes me dizzy with his constant activity. He is always moving something and is so interested in his own world that I struggle to bring him back into ours. He loves to explore and act. We like to go on walks and act out different stories (one of our favorite's is to go to a little bridge by our house and act out the Three Billy Goats Gruff.) If I can't find him I only need to look by the Lego's or the K'nex. God has given him amazing building skills. Everything he makes is always symmetrical and interesting.

These are special, consuming parts of my reality. I want to grasp it tightly, even when it delights--even when it hurts.